A Bowl of Love
by Festus Flare
Summary: I never considered that one day, someone that I knew would come to my home café. Not even the thought of that customer being one of my past conquests crossed my mind. However, by some unknown force which seemed to like taunting me so much ever since I agreed to become Hell's lap dog, both of them occurred at the same time. Chaos ensues.


I never considered that one day, someone that I knew would come to my home café.

Not even the thought of that customer being one of my past conquests crossed my mind.

However, by some unknown force which seemed to like taunting me so much ever since I agreed to become Hell's lap dog, both of them occurred at the same time. At the moment, I was busy playing a dating sim, easily conquering a teleporting esper, when the door was opened with a shrill ring from the bell. I ignored the sound like I usually do and continued playing my game. It was just one of those rare customers the shop gets, and there was also the fact that it could be my mother or Elsie going out to clean the house. But then the customer spoke.

"Excuse me! Ramen and chashu ramen, and a bowl of miso ramen!"

Hearing those words, I instinctively ducked my head behind the couch. Throughout my life, I have only known one person that would order that much ramen. Seriously, _she_ was here?! That was impossible! The café didn't even have any ramen in the first place! I know. I've lived here for quite a while and the menu had been integrated into my mind.

Unless…

I slowly turned my head towards the menu, and stared at it in utter disbelief.

NEW MENU

A new menu. Somehow, without my knowing, my mother had made a new menu. This probably happened while I was busy playing a game, which would equal to anytime at all. I wondered if I could make a mad dash to my room and pretend that I was a wet piece of underwear, but my chance quickly passed by, laughing at me like a bad joke.

"Oh my, a customer!" I heard my mother's voice from the kitchen, calling out happily "I knew making a new menu would do the trick!"

Cursing the sudden twist of fate, I quietly tiptoed my way up the stairs. I was just two steps away from salvation when someone bumped into me, happily humming a tune as she swept the floor. She didn't seem to realise I was standing there and, with that magic broom of hers, swept me off my feet. Literally.

I landed in a muddled heap back on the first floor and glared daggers at the buggy demon in question. However, her oblivious personality made my attempts at showing my fury go to waste. Finishing a final sweep, she wiped her head and sighed in content. Honestly, did she really not see me at all?

"Elsie, what are you doing?!" I whispered furiously as I stuck close to the wall, not wanting the customer to see me.

"Eh, Nii-sama, didn't you hear?" Elsie, the buggy demon who was acting as my little sister, looked at me in confusion "We have a customer! I'm cleaning up so everything would look nice and sparkly."

"Yes, I am fully aware of that, thank you very much," I grunted spitefully "But have you seen just _who_ that customer is? And why are you sweeping upstairs? Customers don't normally go upstairs!"

"Mou, you don't have to be so harsh, Nii-sama…"

With confusion and apprehension written all over her face, Elsie hovered down the stairs and peeked past the wall to the café area. As soon as she saw the customer, though, Elsie's eyes widened up like saucers as she covered her mouth. She then quickly glanced at the menu and nodded knowingly. Turning back to me, Elsie smiled as if it was just another normal occurence.

"Well, I was expecting someone else… But still, I haven't seen her in a while."

I blinked. Honestly, I still couldn't believe my mother would accept this pathetic excuse for a devil as her step-daughter. Since there was nothing else I could do, I quickly dashed upstairs and ran for my room. I was almost home free when the voice of my mother stopped me dead in my tracks.

"Keima, come down here and help me, please!"

Dammit! Well, no use regretting it now. Looks like I'll just have to go with the flow. Still, there was a glimmer of hope beyond this sea of despair known as my life. According to Elsie, anyone who had a loose soul removed from them would have their memory wiped of the conquest. If I put on a blank face and pretended to be a random NPC villager, I might be able to go through the entire ordeal without much hassle.

Too bad the memory wiping was a little… chaotic. Kasuga Kusunoki, one of my old conquests, still had half her memories of the conquests, only for them to be abruptly cut off and replaced with her spending time with her dojo members. Seriously, talk about half-assed. Hopefully, nothing like this would have happened to this previous conquest target.

Sighing profoundly, I wondered just how hectic my life had become in the past year. It had been an entire year since the Goddess fiasco, and things have gotten a bit more than just "interesting" in my life. Every day, I'm bombarded with bento boxes and love confessions from my harem consisting of my five schoolmates and one Goddess.

Ayumi honestly stated that they were married, a fact that I was still trying to find a loop hole for.

Kanon used her idol fame to try and attract my attention, which made my life a living Hell thanks to her fan club.

Shiori would quietly slip in a bento or a story she wrote for me into my desk. It was for this exact reason that I stopped bringing my own lunch to school.

Tsukiyo went with her soft-spoken, yet straightforward assaults. It wasn't that bad, but it gets pretty creepy when Vulcan takes over and starts controlling Luna.

Yui and Mars… Well, they were terrifying.

Luckily, Tenri was nice enough to not really bother me. Diana, on the other hand, is another case altogether.

I have enough issues in school; I didn't need any more drama at home. Countless times, I asked Elsie, Haqua, and even _Nora_ of all people to erase the girls' memories. Sadly, Hell couldn't do anything about it. They already erased their memories back during their conquests, so wiping it again would use way too much energy – Something Hell had always been running low on. Plus, the presence of the Goddesses made it even harder to touch their hosts.

Reaching the café area, I caught sight of the girl wearing the beautiful black cheongsam with floral patterns. Even though she must have eaten a truckloads of ramen, she didn't look overweight; even if her face looked rounder than the last time I crossed her path (which was months ago, mind you. I passed her while buying dating sims). She looked restless, but her desire for ramen made her patient enough to wait for her food.

Uemoto Sumire.

Quietly passing the girl, I slipped into the kitchen where I faced my mother. She was absolutely beaming with euphoria. Understandable. The café rarely had any customers. Not to mention Sumire made a huge order. Still, there was something that was occupying my mind. Without wasting any more time, I asked my mother the question that had been plaguing my mind for quite a while.

"Since when did we have ramen on the menu?"

"Oh, that?" she laughed a hearty laugh "Well, after we tasted that ramen you cooked for lunch yesterday, me and El-chan put it on the menu. After all, you don't do anything to help with the store."

I cursed the multiple abilities I obtained from my long conquests.

So… I'm cooking too, huh. Well, fine then. I made a huff as I silently put on an apron, knowing that I didn't have any say in the matter. If I didn't want to meet the wrath of my mother's biker form, that is.

Cooking ramen, a simple skill that everyone knows how to do. However, being the God of Conquest, I managed to bring it up a notch. It was just like how people said that drinking my coffee made everything they drank before taste like mud water. It was during Sumire's conquest that I perfected this skill, making the dreary little shop gain more customers. Thankfully, it wasn't that important to the conquest so I rarely raised that topic.

Once I finished making the three bowls of ramen, I took off the apron happily and was about to step out of the kitchen when I felt a hand slam heavily on my shoulder. There was a terrifying dark aura behind me, so I knew that whatever the order that was going to be given to me, denial was not in the question.

"Keima," my mother's voice emanated from behind me "It's been a while, so could you please go and serve the food to our dear customer?"

"C-Can't Elsie do it?" I stuttered. I'm stepping on very thin ice right now.

Speak of the devil! As soon as I said that, Elsie stepped into the room as she waved at, obviously, Sumire. She turned to look at the rest of her family, a clueless and cheerful look on her face.

"What's up?" she said with a smile that would melt anyone's heart "I was just catching up with Sumire."

"You two know her?" Mari asked kindly. The dangerous aura was slowly calming down.

"Well, we met her last year, so…"

Slowly, I turned to look at my mother. Her eyes were sparkling brightly, as if a miracle had just occurred. I knew this face. It was the 'Finally, my son will have to socialise!' face. Thinking back to what Elsie had just said, I noticed another terrifying revalation in this occurrence.

For God's sake, Sumire knew us! She remembered us! Just how much of the conquest did she remember? I quickly planned to submit a report to Haqua. Hell's services were dropping to an all-time low.

"Keima, why don't you go and send the food to your friend? And while you're at it, why don't you catch up with her? It looks like you two haven't met in a while."

Nodding my head in defeat, I skilfully carried the bowls of ramen and brought them outside, placing them in front of the gluttonous chef. I then sat down on a chair opposite her, putting on the most plain and boring face I could. This worked the first time I ran into her, it has to work again.

Wait a minute, now that I think about it, Sumire didn't know who Elsie was. They barely even interacted with each other during the conquest! I slowly brought my eyes towards Sumire, who was looking at me as if my head was on fire.

"What are you doing?"

"Not getting murdered," I quietly spoke "Please, don't mind me."

Well, that was good. Sumire doesn't know me, or at least isn't showing any reactions towards me. Maybe what Elsie meant was that she was just introducing herself to the cook, so I know that I'm safe for now. Knowing Sumire, she might go on the offensive, just like a certain masculine conquest target I know.

"Thank you for the food!" Sumire licked her lips hungrily "_Ittadakimasu_!"

She took the bowl of ramen first and used a pair of chopsticks to slurp it down. Her mouth was so full she couldn't even hold a conversation. Great! I don't have to socialise with her. I quietly stole a glance at the kitchen. Instantly, I wished that I hadn't. My mother's vicious glare, hoping that her anti-social son would talk to someone, had penetrated through my soul. With a shudder, I turned back to the ramen chef…

Only to find the three bowls of ramen empty.

"Y-You're done…" I muttered in disbelief. Sure, Sumire was a heavy eater, but a fast one? My perfect memory had no recollections of that.

"Tonkotsu…"

"Do you want some tonkotsu ramen? I could make some, if you want," I quickly sputtered. She didn't make any sudden reactions when I brought the food, so I was hoping that I was somehow erased from her memory. I need to leave fast before something happens! "In fact, since you're such a good customer, I'll make one for you, on the house!"

"Tonkotsu… K-Keima…"

Well…

Damn…

I looked at the girl, holding the bowl of ramen as if it was her lifeline. Suddenly, she tilted her head up, staring at my eyes with something that I could only describe as longing. A single tear slid down her face as she continued to look at me meaningfully. Without warning, she moved in and kissed me square on the lips.

Blinking furiously, I wondered just what the hell was going on. Okay, keep calm. I needed to gather up the facts right now. Sumire remembered her conquest, but she didn't seem to actually remember me. Or, well, my face… Or something. Sure wish Hell would be more specific. That must mean that all Hell did was delete _me_ from her memories, while leaving everything else behind. Dammit, Hell! Do your job properly. This was just like Mio's conquest! Okay, I'm also having a heated kiss with her right now. My mother and Elsie are probably watching this right now.

I could already see the ending, and there is absolutely no way this will end good.

After what seemed like an eternity of kissing, Sumire finally pulled out. Her face was flushed red, much to my amusement. Honestly, wasn't she the one who went in for the attack? What's with her blushing all of a sudden? I was supposed to be the one that felt embarrassed!

"I finally found you, Keima," the chef spoke softly, as if she couldn't believe all this to be true.

It was official. Another troublesome one had popped up in my life. No, a better term would be _reappeared_ in my life. I thought that I was over with this whole business. Guess fate had other things in store for me. Hopefully, Sumire would grow out of her love pretty soon and leave me alone, unlike some hard headed girls.

Before I could muse about my condition any more, I caught sight of Sumire's defiant gaze. She looked as if she was savouring the moment, not wanting to let it fly away. For reasons unknown to me, it made me feel bad. Perhaps it was because I had caused this girl a lot of mental pain?

"Hey, where have you been?" Sumire blurted out, quickly destroying the mood "After you stole my first kiss, you disappeared and never even came to my shop once! What about that whole promise about coming as a customer?!"

"I was busy," I stated matter-of-factly.

Well, it was true. In a sense. I had been running around catching loose souls and making girls and Goddesses fall in love with me. A pervert's wet dream, really. However, I was in no way a pervert. How could I soil the beauty of the virtual world with that sort of filth? Oh, how I despised those men who went wild looking at erotic drawings of the beautiful 2D girls I loved.

Strangely enough, Sumire doesn't seem to remember bumping into me at my school festival. Maybe that meeting was too minor for her to take notice of. She was sort of a hyperactive oddball.

I was about to say something else when I felt Sumire grab me in a headlock and body slam me onto the floor. Terrified could barely describe the feeling I was going through. I could feel the sadness that the girl was emitting, but at the same time I felt that she was way too happy to be true. Despite my futile screams, Sumire kept me pinned onto the ground.

"I thought you were a dream, you know!" she blurted out "Sure, I usually dream about ramen, so I knew that something was off when I kept thinking of you."

"Is ramen the only thing in your mind?! And how could you tell that that was my ramen? You never even tasted it before!"

"Eh, but I did," Sumire said, cutting to a flashback while still tightening her hold on the boy "It was that one time a customer had to run off for a meeting and had to cancel his order. I ate his tonkatsu ramen for him."

"You ate a customer's order?"

"Hey, better than throwing it out the trash."

Well, that would explain a few things. Through the pain, I remembered a bowl of ramen that had been called back suddenly disappear before my eyes. I thought that maybe Sumire had brought it for another customer, so I didn't press the matter any further. Still, memorising the taste after just one bowl? This girl must have a photographic memory when it comes down to her favourite bowl of noodles.

"Okay, okay! I give!" I shouted as I slapped my hand on the floor "Get off! Get off!"

Understanding the situation, Sumire quickly untangled herself from her victim. She rarely resorts to violence, but this must have been an exception. To her, I had been making her wait for a year. I'm sure that sometimes, she must have thought that she had gone mad since she kept thinking that she had already fallen in love and had her first kiss taken from her.

As she helped me back onto my feet, Sumire couldn't help but laugh. When I asked her why she was laughing all of a sudden, she told me that she was reminded of how I had sat on her the night she took over her father's business, telling her to wait as I thought up of some convoluted scheme. She silently added that it was nice to know that she didn't dream that whole thing up.

I quickly stole another glance at the kitchen and noticed that my family was still watching me. My mother's eyes were bulging, as if she couldn't believe what she had just seen. Well, to tell the truth, even I couldn't believe all of this happened. Not good. If anything happened between the two of us now, my mother would have her head much higher in the clouds. It was a hard task to make sure she never found out about my harem, too. Soon, she might force us out on dates just so I would get out of the house more often.

A mother that caring was just too creepy.

"We're going upstairs," I said to Sumire, grabbing her by the palm of her hand as I led the way upstairs.

"Eh, but this is my first time! Please be gentle!"

"I'm not even going to comment on that."

Knowing that even thinking of kitchen now was a terrible idea, I dragged the cheerful Sumire upstairs and into Elsie's room. There was no way I would go into my own room. My games might get damaged!

What did I know about Sumire, other than her ramen obsession? Well, she was a cheerful girl and liked running around, mostly to lose the excess fat from her eating sprees. She was also easy to upset, which was shown by how troubled she got just when Elsie and I had managed to take the last bowls of ramen from her right before a loose soul had entered her heart. Plus, she resented the fact that I was winning good points from her father, although I was sure that this wouldn't happen anymore. She's on good terms with her father now.

"So, Sumire," I said, dropping whatever act I might have thought up and going straight to the point "How much do you remember?"

"Remember?"

"About last year," I stated neutrally "When the two of us met."

A light blush appeared on Sumire's face. She was sitting on the younger Katsuragi's (could Elsie even be considered that?) bed and was holding a pillow tightly. No matter how much she was willing to tell me, I bet that it was still embarrassing.

"Well, I remember everything, really," she said, eyes gazing at the interesting dust on the floor "You worked for my dad's store for a while, and tasted my prototype sweet ramen. Then you somehow managed to fix my relationship with my dad and disappeared without a trace after… we kissed…"

Sumire quickly hid her face behind the fluffy pillow.

"But then, I just couldn't remember who I did all that with. It's like someone erased you out of my memory…"

Grunting in understanding, I understood just how pathetic Hell's memory erasing was. Looks like my complaint would be longer than expected. Now, I only had Sumire to handle. Shaking her off would be easy enough. We went to different schools, anyway. There was also the fact that a lot of boys might also be in love with Sumire. Putting aside her naturally beautiful face and figure, I knew that humans in nature were greedy. Dating an owner of a ramen store had a lot of benefits that nobody would pass up on.

"Wow, your second floor is really clean!"

Huh, guess Elsie's cleaning actually amounted to something.

There was a sudden tug at my hand as Sumire hugged my arm tightly, making me jump at the sudden movement. I knew that the chef was also quite well endowed. In fact, I could prove it right now. Her chest was touching me, though Sumire doesn't seem to realise it or just doesn't care. Luckily for me, such pleasantries in the real world did not faze me. At most, it was just a disturbance.

"Hey, Keima…" she muttered solemnly, completely out of character with how she was acting before "You don't love me, do you?"

"Eh?"

"Well, you're acting differently from when you were working at the shop," she continued "So I guess that everything that happened back then, it's all just a lie?"

Silence. That was all that I could reply with. I never knew that Sumire could be this deductive. Well, that was to be expected. She was a real girl, after all, and that was one topic that I could never truly understand no matter how much I tried. They were surely an enigma to me and I don't plan to start studying up on them any time soon.

Then again, it could just be because her conquest went rather quickly and smoothly, so I never really had the chance to get to know her better.

"Well, it doesn't matter!" Sumire perked up. If she had cat ears, they would be pointing upwards in joy "I'm gonna work hard and make you the best bowl of sweet ramen ever! Then I know I can win your heart!"

"I hate sweet food…"

If any other male heard this, they would have heard the voice of an angel, whose wings were slowly enveloping their body as chimes rang in the background. However, I was no mere male. To me, I had just heard another death sentence. Why? WHY?! I was too young! Why must I suffer through all this pain?!

Half walking, half dragging Sumire, I slowly moved towards the chair that was situated next to the window. I needed to sit down, to collect my thoughts. For once in my life, I needed peace and quiet. Not that I could get any with this mad girl clutching onto my arm, though, but I could at least try.

Looking at the scenery was a good way to relax. I sat down, noticed that Sumire was looking at me with a huge smile, then decided to pat her head. She instantly squealed, jumping to life like a cute little kitten. With a bored face, I continued scratching her head. Hey, if this could keep the bubbly girl at bay, I would gladly do it. At least it didn't cost too much energy. I decided to go back to the scenery.

Ah, the beautiful sight of spring. The leaves blowing in the wind, the flowers blooming in full blossom, even the children frolicking about with their friends. It was so calming, so lovely. It would make any wild mind turn tame. There were young teenage girls, chatting as they had a nice walk towards…

My house…

I blinked. Wait, I know those girls. No, knowing them is an understatement. Holding back another heart attack, I quickly jumped up and ran for the door, quickly pushing away a happy Sumire. She made a loud yell, shouting something about me literally being a pushover. Not that I paid it any heed. I needed to run away from this house. Fast!

Hell, if I could get away from this planet it would be even better!

"Ah, everyone! You came!"

Elsie, god dammit! Did she invite these girls here?!

"Hey, Keima," Sumire shouted too loud for comfort "What's wrong with you? You seem kinda flustered."

"Ah, my Keima senses are tingling!" a rather enthusiastic voice shouted at full volume

"Well, he does live here after all."

Sometimes, I feel as if these people are doing this on purpose. Quickly strategizing a plan, I headed towards my gaming room. Sumire, probably not understanding what was happening, followed my cluelessly from behind. Before I even had the chance to initiate it, my entire plan backfired as soon as I opened the door.

"Aha! I knew I'd find you here!"

With a yell so loud I could imagine my neighbour losing focus on her magic trick, almost injuring herself and surprising a rather violent Goddess, a girl who wore an aura of elegance, yet the clothes of a man, tackled me into a big hug. No, this was no good. I needed my sustenance. I had been going to long without them! If I couldn't play my dating sims soon, I might pass o-

"Here, take this!"

A PFP was shoved into my hands, revitalising me and giving me the burst of energy I needed. As soon as the happened, the figure suddenly took it away from me and chucked it out the window.

"Now that that's out of the way, I could finally make you my wife!"

"Yui, please, stop!" I screamed. My panicked voice carried all the way downstairs which surprised the people happily drinking coffee there "I'm too young! I still have too many dating sims to play! And for that matter, you're supposed to be the wife! And for that matter, how did you get into that room?!"

"Details, details," the masculine heiress shrugged as she held onto me even tighter

"Eh, who are you and what's your connection with Keima?!"

Finally, Yui realised that she wasn't as alone with me as she had expected. In front of her, a beautiful girl in a stunning black cheongsam glared angrily at them. Of course, this only made Yui hug me even tighter. I bet Mars was telling her that this girl was trouble. Then she would have asked if she should materialise a sword for Yui, which the heiress quickly denied permission to.

"I should be asking you the same thing," was Yui's rivalling statement

"This person is going to be my husband!" Sumire quickly spoke, pushing Yui away and quickly holding on to one of my arms.

"No, Keima's already sworn to be mine!" Yui exploded, latching herself to the gamer's other arm

"I never agreed to this…" I muttered

Before I could try any of my tactics to calm them down, the two of them played a very violent game of tug-o-war with me being the rope. There was nothing I could do. They were too strong! Honestly, were these two wrestlers or something?! I could feel my muscles being torn apart, breaking off my beloved gaming arms.

My shouts of agony carried over downstairs, screaming that I still wanted to play games. Oh, I also wanted to live, but that's beside the point. If my arms broke now, I could never play games ever again! That was a fate even worse than death!

Meanwhile, downstairs.

"Um… Shouldn't we help him or something?" Miyako asked as she carefully sipped from her cup of tea

"It's that stupid cockroach, why should we?" was Chihiro's cool response. Although, Miyako swore that there was a bit of envy in that voice.

The band was invited by Elsie to have lunch at their place since they never actually came over. Chihiro was against it at first, but after Yui's sudden realisation that Keima would be there, and Ayumi's Tsundere attitude saying that she didn't want to come, she finally agreed. Miyako, who wasn't even important in the series but is just there to fill up the band roster and add a neutral character to the scene, cheerfully said that she would love to come over. Of course, Elsie seemed to have forgotten to mention this to Keima.

Shrugging in response, Miyako turned left to say something to Ayumi before she realised something else. The athlete had disappeared leaving behind her empty cup of coffee (She didn't really want it, not after having a taste of Keima's coffee. Every other cup of coffee she had afterwards tasted like mud water. Still, there wasn't much left for her to choose from).

"Wow, everyone's gotten so weird ever since last year…"

Back to our main character.

Shouting was exhausting. I had lost all my will to fight back and allowed the two to continue as they pleased. Knowing my luck, something was going to happen in three, two, one… Huh, nothing did. Maybe I should try again. Three, two, one… Oh, come on! My arms are gonna break! Fate, if you wanted to screw me over, now was a good-

"What's going on?"

Well, colour me impressed. Standing at the door was another troublesome one. Takahara Ayumi looked at the scene before her with curious eyes, not understanding what was happening. The only thing she could see were two people playing tug-o-war with my arms, and that could amount to anything. I quickly used the opportunity to pull out my arms, hugging myself with joy as I revelled at the fact that I could continue my life of gaming.

However, my tortures haven't ended yet. Now that another one of the Goddesses had arrived, my peaceful day has already ended with a bang. I could see Ayumi's face change from indifferent, to understanding, to shocked in the blink of an eye. She glanced at Yui furiously, but then turned her gaze towards the new girl, Sumire. She was used to seeing Yui try to attract my attention, but someone else? That must have been quite the news.

"Wh-Who are you…?" was all she could ask as she walked closer

"Uemoto Sumire, owner of the ramen shop Store Sumire," she suddenly latched her arms around mine, and I could feel the tension in the air rising tenfold "And I am going to make Keima my husband!"

No, don't say that! It wasn't so bad when it was with Yui, she's already crazy! But this is Ayumi we're talking about! Any mention of me and husband in the same sentence was a trigger for her!

Just as I had expected, Ayumi turned a dangerous shade of red. Throughout my adventures, I could easily state that Ayumi was pure and innocent, almost to a naïve sense. That was why she fully believed that the wedding they had during her reconquest was official. Ever since then, I had made every step necessary to never meet Ayumi's parents, even going so far as taking the long route to my favourite game store, which passes in front of Ayumi's house.

"What are you talking about?" shouted Ayumi as she balled her fists "Keima and I are already married!"

"Oh, we are not going over this again!" Yui spoke this time "We already went over this. Your 'wedding' wasn't even official!"

"You're married?!" Sumire said in shock as she looked at me despairingly "How could you?! We're practically the same age! Is that even legal?"

The scene was too chaotic now. There was nothing that I could do to quell it. As I stood up, managing to shake off Sumire, I backed towards a window near the end of the room. However, my past mistake had made me realise that looking out the window was a dangerous business. Still there was this lingering feeling that made my spine tingle. It was like a demon was staring at me outside the window.

Slowly turning my head around, I knew that fate was laughing maniacally now. Luna, Tsukiyo's doll, was hovering in mid-air and staring at me with its cold, lifeless eyes. To any normal human being, this was terrifying in every single aspect. Sadly, it didn't even make me flinch. This was a daily occurrence in my life.

"Keima…"

Since Luna is here, Tsukiyo must be around as well. I wonder how she found my house. It's been a while since she came over so I guess she must have forgotten it over the course of the school year. She also takes the bus to the opposite direction after school. I haven't told her, obviously, and she wasn't close enough to Elsie to have asked her. She wasn't even the stalking type. Unless, of course, she had help from a certain someone.

Opening the window and staring down, I could see two more girls. One was clutching a book tightly to her chest, while the other was sitting down on the bench outside my house. Her hair was flowing pink and there was a halo on her head. Two brilliant wings had sprouted from her back as well.

Shiori. Of course. She had a photographic memory. She must have checked up on my details somewhere in the library, which was creepy enough as is. Since the two of them are best friends, it would be natural to see them both together. Although, why they had to come today of all times is a mystery.

"Keima…"

"F-Flying demon doll…" I heard Sumire stutter behind me "There's a flying demon doll!"

"Oh, you're still here, Vulcan?" I muttered, scratching my chin as I wondered if I could somehow jump out of the window to save myself "Don't worry, Sumire, she's harmless."

"You have already confessed your love to Tsukiyo, but you're still playing around with other girls?!" the doll Vulcan echoed in an eerie tone "Unacceptable!"

I could feel my body being lifted up as the eldest Goddess carried me using her telekinesis. Ignoring my protests, she flung me to the other side of the room, crashing into a stack of games that I had neatly arranged in order of alphabet, company and play value.

"Mostly harmless," I corrected

Before I could even stand up I felt two arms pick me up with little to no effort. Soon, I was staring into the eyes of the blonde haired Goddess, Mars.

"How dare you play around with Yui's heart, you swine?!" she shouted, and all I could do was pray that she doesn't destroy my games in her rage "For this, you shall fall before my sword!"

She quickly materialised a sword out of freaking nowhere and made a mad slash at me, although I had managed to dodge it. The stack of games, though, was sliced up in two. I could feel my heart shattering into a million pieces as I watched those beautiful dating sims shatter. My mourning, though, was interrupted by the sudden feeling of getting my backside kicked with full force.

I felt myself flying out the window, and then all went blank.

.

.

.

Ow… My whole body aches…

Slowly opening my eyes, I realise that I was lying down on a couch. There were voices all around me, and I quickly deducted that all of them were female. The first thing I managed to see was Haqua, glaring at me with a ticked off expression. Soon, the rest of my vision turned back to normal and I saw the rest of the girls sitting around my home café. Even Shiori and Tsukiyo were there, talking with Sumire, Chihiro and Miyako. Other than Haqua, Elsie and Ayumi were also beside me, although Mercury was taking over Ayumi's body.

"So you're finally awake, huh?" Haqua said as she slapped her forehead "Honestly, that was insane! You of all people should know not to take the Goddesses lightly."

"Sorry, that was sort of my fault," Mercury lazily answered "I was telling Ayumi that she needed to assert her love for you more."

"Don't take it out on me!" I yelled before turning back to Haqua "And what are you doing here, anyway? Aren't you supposed to be helping your buddy with her yoga or something?!"

Releasing a heavy sigh, Haqua stood up and headed for the door. Pfft, typical Haqua. Getting annoyed at nothing at all. I'm going to include this in my complaint letter to Hell, later. I looked at Elsie, hoping for an explanation for everything.

"Well, you were flying at mach speed and ended up crashing into Haqua mid-flight, Kami-nii-sama." Elsie replied in a worried tone "She then brought you here and nursed you back to health."

I turned my head away in disgust as I imagined the scene playing in my head. Great, another crazy one. As if my life wasn't Hell enough already. Well, at least she didn't do any sort of bodily harm to me like stab me with her scythe or something. That would have been the end of me. I sipped my tea quietly, glaring at the two girls in front of me.

"Oh, then she stabbed you with her scythe," Mercury suddenly said, making me take a spit take "I heard that it's a good way to heal someone."

"So it was your idea!" I quickly searched my body for any missing limbs or holes

"Magic scythe, remember?" the lazy Goddess mumbled as she slowly slipped into a light nap

Before I had any other say in the matter, I felt someone sit down next to me quietly. Turning my head around, I was met with the wild blushing face of Ayukawa Tenri, my next door neighbour and host to the Goddess Diana. Oh, for crying out loud, this was getting ridiculous! For all I care, Kanon would be appearing out of that door any second now!

I quickly took a double take to the door. She better not come in any time soon.

"And what brings you here?" I asked, looking at Tenri as she did nothing but just sit there quietly.

"We-Well, um… You see… We, um…"

A sudden bright flash, and a halo appeared above Tenri's head. Great, so we're doing this, now? What, is Minerva taking over Shiori now, too? Did she change just for the sake of having all the Goddesses appear? Is this someone's sick idea of making a comedy series out of my life?!

"Hmph, you should really start acting nicer to Tenri," Diana fretted "And after all we've done for you, too!"

"Answer the question, Diana,"

"Cheh, Tenri was showing me a magic trick, using a knife to cut her hand when it suddenly just went through her arm (Honestly, how does she do that?!) when we heard this inhumane yelling. Tenri almost cut herself, and I was so surprised it almost made me jump out of Tenri's body. We decided to come over here and see what was going on," she pointed to Yui who was helping my mother's unconscious form… Wait, since when was she unconscious?! "Are the Goddesses assembling? Why didn't I get a message?"

Lowering my head in defeat, I stood up and left through the front door just as Haqua had. Once I reached outside, I slipped onto a bench and tried to calm my mind. I don't have my games with me, and Mars had destroyed some of them in her attack, too. Maybe I could find the PFP Yui had chucked out the window. That would be a good start. Even if I did, I'm too tired. I need a rest, or some tranquillity. Right now, entering the house with all those people in there was anything but peaceful. At least outside, there was still some sanity left.

Before I could start enjoying my long-awaited peace, I was joined with someone else. Sumire had appeared, beaming at me with a smile that made me feel strangely peaceful. I waited for her to start adding up to my pile of worries, but she didn't. Instead, she only sat next to me and enjoyed the pleasant breeze.

"You're really popular, Keima," she finally said after a few moments of silence "I have nothing compared to those girls."

She sat there in silence, as if asking me to break it for her. Knowing that there was nothing much left to do when it comes down to real girls and their emotional roller coaster, I asked her what she thought of everyone else. This might seem insensitive and cold, but it was still a topic Sumire had to go through if she planned to hang out with me more.

"That Yui girl was very assertive. If anything, she's the most dangerous competitor out of all of them. I don't know what happened between you two, but someone like her holding you in high regards is quite admirable."

True, Yui is the most violent and assertive. Even though these two are practically on the same wavelength, their hatred for each other seems to have already taken root. It would take careful planning on my part to make sure these two never meet. As in, ever.

"Ayumi is honest and loyal, a difficult person to find nowadays. She isn't naïve, just hopeful. I think I can get along with her. But when it comes to you, I'm not holding back!"

I could live without that last part, really. It's great that she has the same opinion on Ayumi as I do, just goes to show how Ayumi doesn't keep anything under wraps and lets people see her as her true self.

"For Shiori, she's like a little lamb. I didn't get much out of her, but she seems nice. I wonder if it was because my interrogation, I mean, conversations with her are a bit too harsh."

Interrogations already?! I bet Shiori didn't say a single word and Tsukiyo answered for her. That''s what usually happens with those two, anyway.

"I don't really know what to say about Tsukiyo, but I don't want to get anywhere near her doll! Seriously, that's going to give me nightmares for weeks."

She'll get used to it… Soon.

"Those two girls, Chihiro and Miyako, was it? They seem to be friends or acquaintances rather than love rivals. I guess they were okay."

No, don't leave out Chihiro! She's part of this, too, whether she admits it or not!

"Your neighbour came near the end, Tenri, right? Um… I don't know. She seemed really shy one minute and the next she was yelling at you. Does she have a split personality or something?"

Well, people often confuse Tenri and Diana, probably because Tenri doesn't change physically when Diana takes over. I wonder how long it would take until Sumire could tell them apart at first glance.

"You know, Tsukiyo said that Kanon is also one of my love rivals. Is this…"

My shocked expression must have explained everything. She looked down hopelessly. Ouch, guess popularity really does make a statement. Before long, she suddenly perked up again.

"And you're even married, too! Your mom practically fainted when she heard that."

Great, now I have to explain things to my mom as well.

"I wouldn't really take that into account…" I quietly chimed in

"Well, I don't mind," she replied back, then her smile started to droop "Though I am a bit jealous. But still, I won't give up! One day, I'm going to honestly make you fall in love with me! So please, when that happens, accept my honest feelings!"

Her smile was back full force now, and even I felt like joining her. Sure, my life might be chaotic now, but I wonder how it would turn out in the future. As I sat here, right next to Sumire, I thought that I could see a ray of hope. It might not be the one that I was searching for, but it's still something.

"Speaking of which, why does that Ayumi person keep saying you two are married? And why are some of them changing their hair colour and have halos on their heads?"

"Well, that's a… long story."


End file.
